Those who need to bully people, or prove they have some sort of control over their world, are generally scared, little people.
They are deluded by the god of lies into thinking they can, or should need to, orchestrate many overt and covert manipulations.
Of course they induce fear in the loving, for care is so estranged to these types of interactions. We may want to care and defend, but the opportunities are scant, even blocked, and then our frustration melds with an aggressive response. We are always on the back foot from there.
Aggression is not the way to contend with a bully.
THE IRONY OF THE BULLY AND BULLYING
The bully brandishing their bravado is ironic; he or she hates ‘bullies’ and certain ‘injustices’. They are blinded and blinkered in their delusion of intolerance. Everyone knows that – those on the receiving end – but them. Anyone would think the bully’s the one accommodating everybody else, when precisely the reverse is the case.
They have everyone self-conscious and guarded – even the humbly assured.
The wise find ways of staying out of their way, but, with a blend of courage, the bully may be matched, and even ultimately ‘beaten’. Patience and emotionless self-control are our best allies.
Here is the biggest irony: they, within themselves, subconsciously, are petrified, for they are still in denial regarding their childhoods. Real spiritual muscle comes from admission, processing the hurts of our childhoods and addressing the subsequent malformed character traits, unto eventual acceptance. Not with these!
THE BULLY’S ‘SALVATION’
The bully’s ‘salvation’ comes in the mode of self-fabricated lies, built, because of their rampant denial, from the need of the only safety they have left. This is the safety of Satan – they are agents for the Accuser. And just like negative attention seems to be better than no attention at all, it appears the ‘safety’ of the evil one is preferred by humanity over the only real safety – faith in God through Christ.
Vulnerability is far too scary for the truly fearful who only have aggression with which to meet life; their version of which is scary at every turn. No wonder the need for bravado. Why else would people choose a cornering style of interacting with people like bravado over a love where everyone wins?
If it were to take real courage to be a bully then there would be next to no bullying. Bullies thrive on fear because, deep down, they are full of fear. It’s useful to understand this. Our best response to bullying is patience and emotionless self-control to keep communication mature, yet assertive.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
General David Petraeus’ resignation and admission of an extramarital affair bloody the waters and the news media are in a feeding frenzy. Another powerful man been brought down by having inappropriate sexual behavior with a beautiful younger woman. The responses cover a broad range of speculations from man will be men to powerful men are over sexed. The response that caught my attention is that power is an aphrodisiac. To accept that conclusion tends to indict men who are loyal to their marriage.
I believe there is another answer that far more powerful and more profound than the need to satisfy an overactive sex drives. To suggest that so many powerful men would risk everything they had achieved solely for sex is a gross over-simplification. The political, social, family and often financial cost at stake just do not make good sense. Men in powerful positions did not reach the position of importance by making senseless decisions and having poor judgment.
If we examine this behavior from a wider and a more profound position, other than the surface view of power and sex, we may reach a different conclusion. To understand this behavior as a psycho-dynamic of two individuals in a symbiotic attachment, each living out some unresolved childhood psychological issue may be more productive. The literatures are full of incidences in which sexual activity used to ease hidden and unresolved issues, many from childhood. For instance, we can agree that rape has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with control and aggression.
Whenever we notice a sexual deviation in adults-such as perversion and fetishism further examination will reveal some experience in the area of fixation in childhood (Freud, 1924). To make the connection I must quote from Freud’s principle of psychic determinism or causality which states “consciousness is an exceptional rather than a regular attribute of psychic processes.” In other words, we are too often driven by unconscious desires and less by conscious understanding. We all at, one time or another promised ourselves that we will never again do this or that… and find that we repeat the undesirable behavior again and again. Why? It may serve some unconscious needs. Therefore, we should, at least, entertain the idea that the knowledge received by the consciousness of what is happening in daily lives, including sexual behavior, liable to be incomplete, full of gaps, or driven by unconscious (childhood) needs.
In this instance, instead of power and sex, I see it as a symbiotic relationship, an unspoken (unconscious) agreement between two individuals. Symbiosis understood as a disguised representation of a repressed wish or impulse, or a close, often neurotic, attachment of one individual to another. The position that I take on this subject based on certain facts of daily life. For example, it is easy to show that value the mind places on erotic needs instantly diminishes as soon as satisfaction becomes readily obtainable; any dispute about this died long ago. Certain school of psychology accepted the belief that a husband is never anything but a proxy. The husband is never the right man, the first claim upon the feeling of love in a woman belongs to someone else; her father. The husband is at best a second. Rather the husband rejected or not depends upon the strength of this fixation (Freud, 1924). To experience a fully and normal attitude in love two emotion have to unite; the tender, affectionate feelings and the sensual feeling. Psychology inform us to be free and happy in love one must set aside his deferential approach for women, and embrace the blinding light of the incest taboo.
I believe, I have set the foundation in which to answer several questions that part of the conversation involves extramarital affair between powerful men and younger women. For example, why do women prefer powerful men when it comes to relationships? And why do powerful men engage in extramarital affairs more than powerful women?
First, we must accept the position that power indicates authority, The President of the United States, an army general, the policeman on the block, teacher in the classroom, or the father in the home. These are all position of power and authority.
Power and authority play no role. The individual participates in the relationships to live out a childhood wish, or an unresolved childhood conflict. In adulthood, sex is, often, the vehicle used to act out the forbidden wish.
Extramarital affairs the men involved are older women are often younger and unmarried. Now, if one can look beyond the glaring hot light of society’s strong taboo against incest one will see the father/daughter relationship.
In the symbiotic attachment, the younger woman (daughter) finally gained the upper hand on the older woman (mother) the daughter now have her first love (father) the older man. The childhood wish is now complete. However, there is a price to pay for violating society’s taboo against (father/daughter) incest. Often it is the man who must pay in the form of political, social, personal, and family embarrassments and public disgrace. A great price to pay: and a form of punishment for being on the wrong side of the incest taboo. Sometime the wayward individual themselves start the dominoes to fall that reveals the behavior.
As for women of power and women who seek out powerful men, both are dancing to the same tune. But sex or power is not the driving force the goal is to gain the love of the “father.” However, the woman who is powerful and the woman who seek powerful men take separate path to accomplish their goals. The personality of the individual and the child within determine which path taken.
The woman who seek powerful men most likely was “daddy’s little girl” as a child she put her father on a pedestal, if there is tension between mother and father she takes her father’s position. However, deeply repressed is her anger with your father for choosing another woman (mother) over her but the hostility is unconscious she fear that if daddy learn her true feeling he would reject her.
The women who seek power in her own right do not place men (father) on pedestals or worship them in any significant way, women who seek personal power, instead of powerful men do not have a strong desire for approval from men (father) they are more comfortable competing with men. These women are not “daddy’s little girl” they attitude toward father-figure is more aggressive and competitive.
However, do not be misled these women of power are also seeking the love of the father. These women also feel rejected and must compete with mother for father’s love, but they take a different approach. The women of power, as a child, reject the “good girl, obedience mother” approach as a way to gain father’s love. Instead, they become more like the father, aggressive, demanding, authoritative, and seek power as a tool to control and to achieve immediate gratification. These women become their fathers.
Women with power, unlike men with power, seldom involved in highly publicized sexual embarrassment. In fact, this behavior mirrors society in general in which older women have little appetite for the seduction of younger men. Women of power are seldom in public sexual embarrassment involving younger men. Women who are motivated to achieve power and authority as the ultimate goal of success may not see sex as a premium to reach their goals.
S. Freud, 1924, The Passing of the Oedipus-Complex
This article should not be taken as a broad brush to paint all relationship between older men and younger women as neurotic. The goal is to offer another way to examine relationships between powerful men and younger women, and not through the lens of sex and power.
Every lady is completely different, if they were all identical, you wouldn’t have an interest during this one specially, currently would you? There area unit as many various ways in which to draw in a lady as there area unit ladies, therefore let’s check some basic rules that the way to get a lady to love you.
Here are the ten tips to get a girlfriend
1.Avoid neediness just like the plague.
A lot of men UN agency are single for a moment accidentally tend to provide off a indigent atmosphere whenever they are available across enticing ladies. this is often typically solely as a result of they need forgotten the way to act around them, though. sadly, out of each attribute out there that a bloke might probably possess, neediness would be the smallest amount enticing one among all. Now, this doesn’t essentially mean that you simply got to play hard-to-get whereas learning the way to get a lady to love you, however avoiding desperation would positively be of the utmost essence.
2. Girls sort of a challenge.
If you’re too obtainable to her or if you offer her your heart on a platter, she won’t have an interest. girls love the joys of the chase. think of her, however don’t let her recognize as expected whether or not you’re really interested… till you create your move.
It doesn’t got to be something huge. perhaps simply discovery at her house or work to mention hullo, if she likes that kind of factor. perhaps successive time she comes over you have got her favorite course waiting, or something you recognize she likes.
4.Girls love a person UN agency makes them feel safe.
Women look men to be the leader, the supplier, and therefore the additional powerful one within the relationship. It turns a lady on after you show your masculine qualities of leadership and ambition. a lady needs a bloke she believes will conquer the world… or a minimum of a person she believes has the drive and want to be the master of his universe.
5.Don’t repeat identical compliment for several times.
Remember that typically ladies would like longer to induce robust feeling and that they don’t like pestilent guys.
When do an inspiration of obtaining ladies to love you, take under consideration that politeness and a spotlight area unit 2 things that lead them to think about your temperament for a job of the adult male.
Bad boys with courtesy have the best possibilities to seek out a girlfriend. Any lady feels special once she is that the solely somebody enjoying his favor and compliments.
6.Don’t suddenly raise if she likes you.
You have to possess some momentum after you raise her out, therefore work on developing that 1st. It’s like racing: you have got to rev your engine somewhat bit to heat it up before you are taking off. It’s identical with girls: check out the signals, build a snug relationship together with her, so raise her out.
7.Use your charm.
This is another one among those tips that sounds very easy within the telling, however in point of fact are some things really troublesome if you’re not one UN agency possesses natural charm. however once more, troublesome isn’t identical as not possible. individuals will learn to be additional charming. The caveat tho’, is that you simply got to truly do things to enhance. like speech communication skills, charm skills may be learned from looking however alternative guys charm girls then attempt applying what you’ve seen. Also, you’ll observe with somebody “safe” if would like be, to assist you see what works for you and what doesn’t.
8.Don’t care what she thinks.
I can’t stress this enough. Showing that you simply don’t care if a lady likes you or not makes ladies such as you additional. there’s little doubt concerning this, I’ve tried it over and all over again. The additional you show your independence from ladies, the additional you may get ladies to love you. It’s extremely that easy. They don’t need a guy UN agency hangs on their each move, looking ahead to their approval. If you wish their approval, they see this as weakness. they’re going to suppose you’re a someone. you may ne’er get a lady to love you wish this, trust me.
Yes, cash may be massively enticing. If you have got it, there area unit loads of belongings you will use it for involving obtaining girls. If you don’t have cash, don’t pay some time want you had it, simply fathom the way to exude the arrogance that money offers individuals and use that to your advantage.
10.Treat yourself well.
The key issue here would be to ne’er disrespect yourself or place yourself down whenever a lady is around you. See, the minute a lady realizes that you simply don’t have any respect for yourself, then she is going to find yourself not having any respect.
Believe it or not, ladies like guys UN agency suppose terribly extremely of themselves, therefore make certain you usually do your best at exuding the arrogance that she must see that you simply believe yourself and in your talents in learning the way to get a lady to love you.
These are some of tips on how to get a girlfriend.Hope you all like it.
Rekindling a lost romance is never an easy job. But it is something that can be easily done (or perhaps better put when saying “is within your grasp”) with the right moves. The steps on how to get your ex girlfriend back should not be too hard. As a matter of fact, it is something that all men can do if they are only willing to put in some effort, get into their woman’s mind space and try it out.
Reducing things down somewhat, the simple steps on how to get your ex girlfriend back involves:
Break up can only mean that the relationship is undergoing (or had undergone) some major problems with the couples having major differences. It is therefore important that all of the issues get identified. Determine all the things that seem wrong in the relationship and list them down – don’t overlook or forget any. Then put your thinking cap on and work with your partner (or former partner, depending upon how far advanced the break up is) to explore and find a way to address all of them.
It’s not enough that you say sorry. You should also be honest with everything that you’ll do from this point forward. If you are telling your ex that you’ll never do whatever you did before, act on it. If you promised her that you will change for the better, be sure that you really would. Getting back with your ex is not a time for false promises or pretenses. Honesty and integrity between couples are hallmarks of all strong and lasting relationships.
In order to really get your ex back, you have to be loyal to her. You should not go around and date someone, let alone sleep with another woman. You don’t want your ex to find out about how active you were in the singles market while she’s busy nursing all those painful wounds and memories. How can she possibly take you back if she discovered you have slept with someone else?
4. Mind Reading
Like what all men should be able to, or at least aspire to be able to do, reading his girlfriend’s mind must be one of his talents. Men should have known by now that what she’s saying isn’t always what she means. Now I know this is a bit akin to “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” but If you know her that much, then you’ll know when she is saying no when all that she wanted to say is yes. If you want to really know how to get back with your ex girlfriend, you have to read the body language, look at the signs and take your cues accordingly.
Let me start off this conversation by stating that I am not against the idea of reconciling. It can be a good thing to do for a lot of women. However, there are still a lot of situations where it is the WRONG thing to do and I hate to see someone waste their time on trying to get back with an ex boyfriend when they are clearly going after the wrong guy.
Feeling as though you have been burned in a relationship is a rather unpleasant feeling, isn’t it? When your hopes and dreams get dashed and you even feel like you’ve been played like a fool to a certain extent, it makes you wonder what you did wrong and it can make you become so consumed with wondering what happened that you don’t feel like you can really move on. If you feel like you have been burned in a recent relationship and you want to be able to move on, keep reading because this article might be able to point you in the direction that you are looking for.
Here is some advice that might help you if you want to move on:
1. As much as you want to think about how much it hurts, you can’t do that if you want to move on.
If you truly want to be able to move on from feeling like you’ve gotten burned in a relationship, then you can’t give too much attention to what happened. That can be tricky, because you are probably trying to look for answers as to why it happened like that and if you could have done something differently, but all that is going to do is keep you involved more in the story of being played like a fool and not in the story of being able to move on from that experience.
2. Realize that the problem really lies with the other person.
It’s easy to blame yourself and for a lot of people that does end up being what they do. However, if you have been burned in a recent relationship, it probably had more to do with the other person and not with you. That is something that you might have to keep on reminding yourself of, but it should definitely help you feel better about yourself and when you feel better about yourself, it’s easier to move on from the experience.
3. Social connections can really help you out in a period of time such as this.
Allow yourself to feel isolated and alone during a time like this, and you’ll most likely find that it feels impossible to move on. Give yourself a little support in the form of your social connections and that probably won’t be the case. It might be enticing to want to spend a lot of alone time right now, but that probably isn’t the best thing that you can do.
If there’s one day out of the year that most women wait for impatiently, it’s Valentine’s Day. This is the day when you breathlessly wait for the gift that your boyfriend will choose for you. Obviously, you’re hopeful that it will be more than just candy or flowers. An engagement ring is the one present that every single woman who is devoted to her boyfriend longs for. As that special day approaches, you may find yourself wondering whether this will be the year that he’ll finally pop the question and slide a beautiful diamond ring on your finger. With a little insight you can read between the lines of your boyfriend’s behavior and you’ll be able to tell whether he’s on the cusp of proposing or not.
He Talks About Your Future Together
Men tend to be cautious when it comes to matters of the heart. They’ll keep their emotions close to the vest until they feel they can trust the woman they’re with. A man never wants to feel vulnerable in an emotional sense and to avoid that, most men will wait to proclaim their love for their girlfriend and will wait longer to even consider the idea of marriage.
If you’re with a man like this you have to learn to read between the lines of what he says. A lot of insight into a man’s heart can be garnered from listening to him talk about the future. When a man sees you as his wife and life partner, he’ll begin to show that through his words. He’ll say things about when you two buy a house together or how great it would be for the two of you to travel to Europe one day. He may not even realize that he’s dropping these subtle hints because he’s doing so subconsciously. The next time you two have a conversation about some event taking place in the future listen carefully to whether or not he includes you in his plans.
He Enjoys Weddings More Than He Has in the Past
When a man is considering proposing to his girlfriend he’ll suddenly have more interest in the weddings of other people. If you’ve had to unwillingly drag him to family weddings in the past, but now he eagerly wants to attend, take that as a very promising sign for your future with him. There’s a point in a man’s life when he shifts from seeing himself as a single man to that of a married partner.
You can also bring up the subject of weddings more easily with a man who is considering marriage himself. For instance, if you commented on the wedding dress an actress is wearing on television, your guy may be more open to giving his own opinion if he’s been imagining what you will look like in your own wedding dress when you’re walking up the aisle towards him.
Owning a Home is Suddenly on His Priority List
Many men still carry the old fashioned notion that they want to own their own home before they propose. That desire dates back to when they were young and they grew up in a loving, balanced home environment.
Dating a man gives you amazing insight into how he views the world and how he handles his own financial responsibilities. If a man, who was content to rent a small, cramped apartment, suddenly is on the market for a home that could easily and comfortably house an entire family, he’s definitely got marriage on his mind. If he includes you in all the planning for his new home, that’s an even stronger signal that a proposal is undeniably in the works.
He Plans Something Elaborate for Valentine’s Day
Most men go to an enormous amount of trouble when it comes to the actual proposal. If they happen to choose Valentine’s Day as the ideal day to pop the most important question you’ll ever hear, you should easily be able to put the pieces together of what his true motive is.
If your boyfriend is planning on taking you to a very expensive restaurant that in itself is a red flag. If it’s a restaurant that you two have never frequented in the past, you can almost guarantee that he’s planning on something big, most likely a proposal.
The same can be said if he’s gone out of his way to plan an adventurous outing for you two. Some men think it’s overly romantic to propose in a hot air balloon or on the big screen at a football or basketball game. The key is to pay attention to the plans that he’s made. If it’s something completely out of the box, chances are very good that an engagement ring will be part of the evening’s festivities.
Reading between the lines of your man’s behavior can certainly give you amazing insight into whether or not this Valentine’s Day he’ll drop to one knee and ask you to be his wife. Pay attention to the small things, they can often tell you a lot about where his heart is.
I often hear from wives who are quite confused. Often, after much soul searching and a good deal of effort, they have decided not to automatically turn their back on their cheating husband. Many figure that he will be extremely relieved about this and therefore extremely willing to show his affection and to rebuild their marriage. Instead, the wives are often shocked and disappointed that the husband is not showing any physical affection. Instead, he seems to be avoiding touch. This can leave the wife feeling not only confused but also quite rejected.
I heard from a wife who said: “my husband cheated on me with one of his coworkers. I found out about it because one of my friends works at the same company and she could not help but notice that they were acting inappropriately and were together far too much. Once I confronted my husband with my friend’s concerns, he eventually confessed. He agreed to stop working with her and to cut off all contact. And I agreed to try my best to move past this. I thought that we were off to a decent start but now I’m not so sure. It’s been four weeks since I found out and my husband has made no attempts to touch me. The other day, I even wore a revealing night gown to bed which I know that he likes. Even then, he looked away and made no attempt to reach out to me at all. Why won’t he touch me? Is he no longer attracted to me? Is he thinking of her?” I’ll try to address these questions below.
Try Not To Make Assumptions That May Not Be True: As a wife who has been cheated on, I know first hand that it’s easy and normal to assume that his not reaching out to you means that he doesn’t want to be intimate with you. And when you assume that he doesn’t want to be intimate with you, then you start to worry if there is something wrong with you or with his attraction to you. Try not to jump to these conclusions. His not seeking your touch often has more to do with his doubts about himself than his doubts about you. This leads me to my next point.
He May Feel That He Doesn’t Deserve To Touch You: Many times, if you were to ask the husband why he wasn’t physically reaching out to the wife, he will tell you that he doesn’t want to assume that she wants him to touch her because he knows that he doesn’t deserve to be intimate with her until the marriage has healed and until this has been made right.
So sometimes the wife thinks that he isn’t touching her because he doesn’t want to save the marriage. But sometimes, the opposite is true. He doesn’t touch her because he doesn’t want to jeopardize his ability to save his marriage in the future once a new foundation has been made.
He May Be Afraid That You Will Reject Him: Many men in this situation have a sinking feeling that the second he tries to touch you, then you are going to respond by wincing or by pushing him away. Often, he thinks that his touch is going to repulse you. So he would rather hold off and wait than to risk rejection.
He May Think That Touching You Will Bring Up Undesirable Questions: Often men are reluctant to initiate sex because they know it will bring up obvious questions. He might be worried that you will ask if he did the same thing with the other woman. He might be worried that you will think that he’s over sexed and willing to sleep with whatever woman will allow him to do so. That might be why he would just rather wait and avoid these potential misunderstandings.
How To Handle This: Your need to still feel desired is completely understandable. I felt the same way. And I certainly didn’t think it was fair that I was in the position that I had to make the moves on the same husband who cheated on me. I would suggest giving subtle clues that it’s safe to reach out. Perhaps when things are going well and you are sharing a laugh, you might want to reach out and lightly touch his hand. This will give him clues that you are receptive to him. If this doesn’t work, then you can always just put this issue on the table and talk about it. A suggested script might be something like: “I’ve noticed that you haven’t touched me in four weeks. This makes me feel rejected and unattractive. I don’t expect for us to pick up our physical relationship as if nothing happened. But I do need to feel wanted and desired.”
Again, this lets him know that he doesn’t have to hold off because of a fear of being rejected or misunderstood. With this said, I do recommend moving slowly. You will often want to begin to heal emotionally before you try to resume your physical relationship.
So you lost the love of your life and you are heartbroken? Been there. So has just about everyone else out there over the age of 16 or 17, so don’t feel alone. The difference between me (and potentially you) and most of those other folks is that most of them did one of two things wrong. Either they gave up and didn’t even try, even though they knew their lives would be much happier with their ex back in it; or they went about trying to get their ex back using all the wrong methods.
I, on the other hand, did the right things to get her back as well as avoided the stupid mistakes that lots of people make. That’s why we got back together and are still together today.
Here are the top three things you need to do starting today if you want to win your ex back.
1. Stop spilling your guts on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social site! Nothing will make you look more pathetic. Even more, doing this will make your ex less motivated and feel less of a sense of urgency to make things work because they will know you aren’t moving on anytime soon. Don’t think that veiling the meaning behind your post using song lyrics, movie quotes, or other vague references will fool them either. Both women and men alike are attracted to confidence above everything else, and there is nothing confident about crying in public. Keep your Facebook and Twitter posts about sports or the weather.
2. No “what are you up to?” texts — especially on Friday and Saturday night? If you send these pathetic texts, you might as well send “please tell me you aren’t out with (or worse, sleeping with) someone else!” instead, because that’s what they are going to read. A better idea is to cut off contact completely on the weekends and let them wonder what you are doing!
3. Give them some time to cool off — then call. Notice I said call. Not text, Facebook, or Twitter. Do your own thing and let him or her do the same for about a week, that way you can both clear your heads, then pick up the phone. If they are receptive, have an honest conversation about how you feel and ask them their feelings. Most importantly, LISTEN. Don’t beg, plead, and spill your guts. Chances are, what comes out of their mouth will give you an indication as to what your next move should be.
If you are in a seemingly hopeless situation and just want the love of your life BACK in your life, you are not alone. My soul mate left me in 2007 and said she was moving on for good. I used this exact step-by-step system to win her back:
We will be celebrating our third wedding anniversary this year. This program is 100% guaranteed to have you back with your ex fast!
You and your beau are having problems and you feel like it is because you have messed things up and you want to know how you can make him see that it is not going to happen again. You want to be able to prove this because you know that you don’t want to end up losing him. You like dating him, you enjoy being his girlfriend and you are well aware of the fact that you have made some mistakes along the way. So, what can you do to prove to him that you are not going to mess things up again?
One of the first things that I would do if I were you is to make sure that you really did mess things up. What I mean by this is, don’t just accept the fact that you messed up because he said so, make sure that it is because you really did make some mistakes. It’s easy as a woman to want to take all of the blame and there are guys who have a knack for being able to turn things around and make it seem like all of the problems in the relationship have to do with the woman. That doesn’t mean that you were the one that totally messed things up, though.
If you do still come to the conclusion that you were the one that messed things up in the relationship, then the only thing that you really can do is to use time and action to prove that you are not going to make the same mistakes. You need time because it takes time for him to build up trust in you again and that is what this is really about most of the time, trust. You need action because words can be hallow, they don’t always prove much of anything. For example, if you cheated on your boyfriend and that is how you messed things up with him, then just saying that you are not going to cheat on him again isn’t probably going to cut it.
He’s probably going to need to see that you are being truthful through your actions. Don’t stress out too much about wanting to prove to your boyfriend that you are not going to mess things up, though. Unless you did something really bad, then it probably is just a little bump in the road and you should be able to find a way to get past this as long as you work on doing what it is that you have to do to make him feel like he can trust you and he can work with you on the relationship.